What's Love? Is it the feeling you get when your heart "accidentally skips a beat?" Is it the feeling you get when you felt the tear of your heart or the fact that He so casually kicked it aside for the joy in seeing your expressions? Does He take pride in hurting you? Does He just want to see how much you care for Him? Does He just want to know how long you could endure His cruelty, His game of chase-and-catch? Would He catch you if you were to fall? What if He didn't?

How could I ever redeem myself to those old "glory" days, Friend...? How did I turn from a confident, forgiving girl to someone like this? Someone I could barely recognize; yet, I embrace Her for who she really is, because She and I are the same. We have suffered together.

How could I ever redeem my feelings, the pieces of my heart again?

My gosh, I so hated Him. I can curse Yu Da to the day he could just vanish from the surface of this planet...this beautiful place...but can I really will for that to happen? I mean, is that what I really wish for?



Already, I just want someone to come by and replace him for Pete's sake.

It's a scar that'll never go away, the deeply entrenched mark--the curse--branded into my heart that so
wildly shattered it.

What is love?

Did I like Him, did I "like" Him, or did I simply "love" Him?

Thanks, Love. I give you my most sincere sarcasm! No one can tell me the exact meaning because you're just sooo freaking BROAD and universal in every dang language there is, every symbol, every definition, every image!

Did I love Yu Da? Do I still love Him now?

:P Hmph, I hate him!

In fact, in fact, in fact...! Even so, no matter how hard I try to push the thoughts aside...I know there's a piece of me...that still cares for the dang EMO loser =___="

I've stopped talking to Him, I've deleted Him from my Skype, I've stopped asking about Him...


But you know what?

I keep thinking about Him... I still have his stupid e-mails, IM messages...

I still have him on MSN, even though I've stopped using that IM system months ago.

I couldn't bring myself to delete those messages, the comments given from Him.

Last year, I knew...there would come a time like this, the days after I leave that high school, we'll never see each other again probably...that things would change, they might go back to being the same.


Did I ever matter...the tiniest bit to a guy like Him?

Did I ever leave the tiniest bit of influence, an impact on a guy like Him?

...Then, again, He probably never took note.

Because I never allow myself to cry in front of people...like Him.

But geez, thanks to that guy, I've gotten meaner/ "meaner."

Thanks, Yu Da. You've turn me into a complete NUN =____="

I have no absolute feelings for men now--not even for JJ =____="




-"NUN" dreaya :P