A girl from our Biology class committed suicide, and so, I was told that she too was a Freshman like me. I thought it was ironic, though, that Vicki was just talking about her to me last evening when we were supposed to be studying together. She spoke of this Dearie* so fondly...and for a split second, I was thinking that Dearie and I could be friends too, that maybe we should meet someday.

Should I be upset? I don't know... I woke up this morning at around 8:25 am because Mom came into my room with the phone. Vicki and I were supposed to meet up and study in the local library, close to my neighborhood, because I live wayyy west of the city; Vicki and all of my other friends are from the East (the "poor, ghetto" side; when Chris saw my house, he said I looked 'rich' =__= ) Not to mention, the university is located at the far East side as well. Anyway...Vicki called early to tell me that our meeting is canceled.

"Oh, dreaya~ I have to tell you something." she said.

Her happy tone suddenly took for a turn.

"My friend...Dearie committed suicide."

I know. It's strange to hear Vicki telling me these things, just like how Kenny and all the others seem to confide in me too. But...

Yeah, Vicki and I are friends; however, I never knew we were this close until now.

"...What?" I asked.

"Dearie... I thought she was getting better; she committed suicide because she was just so depressed. Did you know? Dearie was in our Biology class, dreaya. I mean...I thought she was getting better...because I saw on her FB status that one night that she was gonna go out with her friends... All of a sudden, I just didn't see her anymore and on her FB...I saw people commenting "RIP", "Rest in Peace..." Her voice, I thought it cracked. Like she was gonna cry on me. But she quickly contained herself and laughed, "Uh, yeah, so that's all I want to say, you know? Well, see you on Friday, dreaya~!"

I wanted to say something.

Like... "Cheer up."

But, geez, what can I say? I'm shocked as well too.

What can you say to a girl who just lost her friend to suicide?

Can't possibly tell her to "cheer up" when that friend killed herself two nights ago, when last night, you two were just talking about that Dearie.

Dearie...I thought about you today.

I thought...it was just a shame, that if you hadn't done that, that...we would've been great friends too, that I would've helped you somehow...

We would've been such great friends, Dearie. Because we're both Freshmen, and well, we can help each other pass our science classes. I don't what major you were going toward or anything...but you sounded awesome. I can't believe we've never met, or did we before? The world will never know...

RIP...

I wonder... Did you ever think about the people you were going to leave behind?


-dreaya

P.S. Is there just something about me...that causes people to tell me these kinds of things?

I wonder about that too.

------------------------------------------------------

...The parents are arguing again.

...And what is up with EMO people, these days? Not Dearie, but Jeremy? We've only talked a few times on FB and already, the guy is pretty much what I expected--EMO, dramatic, always trying to use your guilt... Already, he's declaring his "feelings" for me.

Sorry, not into internet relationships.